Last time, I talked about psychosis and the stigma attached to the word “psychosis.” I explained the devastating effect on the mental health consumer experiencing psychosis of stigma from family members or friends once these people learn you have psychotic episodes as part of your mental illness or brain disorder.
Today, I want to suggest that mental health consumers can combat stigma themselves. The stigma of mental illnesses and brain disorders is accurate, and the mental health consumer is the victim when it is exercised, but that’s no reason to rest passive and not fight back in a way that may help the person exercising the stigma to view you in an improved light. Of course, it won’t always work, but do you need them if people are not prepared to meet you part-way?
Although I experience stigma, it is not always possible to envisage combatting it. Amid a psychotic episode and the presence of other symptoms of schizophrenia, like hallucinations, paranoia, and the conviction of thought insertion, all I can cope with is trying to get to a better place. I find it better to avoid socializing during such episodes, the exceptions being my local NAMI support group and going out with my spouse, who is my caregiver. I work hard with my psychologist and psychiatrist to reach a point where my symptoms are manageable, and I enjoy some measure of objectivity.
It’s at that point that I can envisage meeting other people part-way, even if some of those people have exercised harmful stigma against me due to my schizophrenia.
One of the most challenging judgments I have to make is to differentiate between lost causes and hopeful causes. Some people don’t want anything to do with a person diagnosed with a severe mental illness, including schizophrenia, especially if they have witnessed you going through a bad relapse. They don’t want to know you even if you are doing better. Sometimes, these people have been close to you in the past, which makes their rejection most hurtful. My advice is to not waste time and emotion on such people. Often, the stigma they dish out is way more “crazy” and “paranoid” than even your experience with mental illness. Their primary fear is that you will somehow damage their carefully manicured life.
The hopeful causes are people who are receptive to being educated about your mental illness and who are appreciative of your efforts to gain a better footing that enables you to control your symptoms. I find that it’s best to be frank with such people, to tell them I live with schizophrenia, and to talk to them about some of its symptoms that impact my behavior. I often find that the problem has been that these people are simply ignorant about what schizophrenia entails. If they listen and thank you for the explanation, they are hopeful causes. This evaluation applies equally to offline friends as to online friends. If handled correctly, social media can be an excellent source of online friends and support. Many social media accounts run by mental health advocacy groups, for example, can provide much support simply by subscribing to their accounts.
For me, one of the chief motivations for looking after my mental health, after the obvious one that I want my spouse to be happy, is to establish a good record of behavior when I am mixing with hopeful causes. Many aspects of my life have nothing to do with my mental illness, so I can educate them a little about schizophrenia, but I can also engage them in conversation about my many other interests. The key is not to be so bound up in how people should react to me that I forget to try to meet others part-way.
There is no reward for being a pure victim, and there is much reward for working hard to identify the relationships in your life that have a future. However, that requires not only other people’s efforts but your own.